i’m pretty selfish these days, kind of just getting my own things done and forgetting to check up on those who are important to me. sometimes im just too ‘self-focused.’ anyways my crazy schedule is gonna force me to stop sometime. 5am Crew – 11pm research. Repeat. In any case, I hope I get a lot out of this research and get healthier from crew. sigh?

yo i just used  like all GRE words to write this. imma pwn it

2. researching at the hydraulics lab

3. bburg in the summer is mad boring!

4. GRE/GMAT throws me back to SAT’s!

5. My apartment is DOPE.

will i ever give myself a break? eh

Almost every single year after my last exam, i’m headed straight for home. Not that I want it that way necessarily, it just happens that way. I planned to stay longer in HK and enjoy it-with a vaca mindset for once. But, as I type, I’m sitting in the check-in hall in Taoyuan International Airport (Taipei), just 12 hours after the last exam Junior year.

I guess I could reflect on this crazy year with this post, but for that you could just read all the rants from this year-aka all preceding posts. instead, i’ll quote my favorite person in the world ever year at this time in the academic calendar. quite appropriately, MLK. yea cuz he’s hella awesome. he’s a mighty fine bloke fo sho. he isn’t the last bit dodgy, and he’s up my alley. and if u don’t like my mix of aussie, cali, and british english, well- then just cheer up, mate!

ahah lame. anyways.

Let freedom ring…join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

The end of exams always reminds me of how Good You are God. Thanks for pulling me through.

postscript. MLK’s quote is appropriate in two ways-as it applies to liberation from the tyranny of school and from our spiritual bondage to law-based imperfection. “The gospel is counter-intuitive. Grace is free, but we act like its not. Philippians 2:12 tells us to ‘work out’ our salvation not ‘work for’ it.” -Brett

Thank you for the cross. We are emancipated.

postscript 2. love u all at Virginia Tech. I’m back before the 24th for the summer. Let’s catch up.

Wonjong. Love u. Roomie.

thank you for letting me come back to you,

as i struggle minute after minute, day after day.

thank you in the midst of my worries. u’re greater than all of it.

and thank you so much for the cross.

“You have a new backpack.

Now this time, I want you to fill it with people

Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office.And then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets.

Your cousins, your aunts, your uncles. Your brothers, your sisters, your parents.

And finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend.

Get them into that backpack.
Don’t worry I’m gonna ask you to light it on fire.
Feel the weight of that bag.
Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life.

Feel the straps cutting into your shoulders.
All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises.
You need to carry all that weight.
Then you set that bag down.

Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically for a lifetime.
Star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans.
We are not those animals.

The slower we move, the faster we die.
We are not swans, We’re sharks.”

How does this relate to me? I haven’t had many connections to ‘weigh me down’ in Asia, which is actually really sad. Probably because I took this year in Asia as an opportunity to not just gain new perspective, but to be largely disconnected. I haven’t kept up with most friends, and I’ve been mainly doing my own thing here. Didn’t take pictures even.

But backpack emptied and all, I’ve actually learned a lot this year. Being adaptable is always hard, but thats life, eh? It still ticks me off that I can’t understand Cantonese. Yea, I don’t really know what’s going on around me most of the time. But I digress…

Well, I’ve had a great run (sprinkled with a lot of discouraging setbacks, but thankful nonetheless) here in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and China, but my time is up. I’m definitely looking forward  to going back home.

Finals for two more weeks. Give me strength and understanding Lord. You are my strength when I am weak, my healer.

For my depraved soul.

For my deteriorating body.

For my confused mind.

I am such a crooked, sick, terrible person without you Lord.